Mother's Day and Peanut Butter and Jelly

A few weeks ago I had a discussion with some friends about how we each make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I put peanut butter on both sides of the bread and then jelly on top of the peanut butter of just one side. A friend puts peanut butter on one side and then the jelly on the other. A third friend until recently would put butter on the bread BEFORE the peanut butter. WHY? Why do we each make such a common sandwich so differently? The answer is simple.... because our mothers did.

After that conversation I really thought about that a lot. How many things do we do every day because of our mothers? The way you make any sandwich... not just a peanut butter and jelly. Do you use mayo or Miraclewhip.... or just butter? How about how you make a bed or the direction you vacuum. Do you put milk on your oatmeal? What about honey on grapefruit or sugar on corn flakes? The way we do laundry or how we dust our furniture or clean a toilet??? Do you drink a certain soda because she did (or does).... and do you hide it like she did too?

A lot of my friends that are soda drinkers drink only diet .... guess why? Because their moms always did ... that was what was in the house. I NEVER drink diet because my mom was strongly against any and all fake sugars and sweeteners.

That led me to other comparisons ...... like how we each take care of ourselves.... or not. My mother never took the time to do her nails. We never had the money for her to have them done either. Guess what I almost never do .... my nails! And the way I wear my make-up... specifically my eyeliner ... yep ... just like mom.

Personally I think I do a LOT of things because of my mother.... and not always because of how she did those things but how she didn't. For example: my mom did not seem to notice how I looked when I went to school. She never helped me to pick out my clothes or to do my hair. I am embarrassed to admit I rolled the curling iron the wrong direction leaving "bends" in my hair for a long time before I realized I was doing it wrong. Why didn't my mom notice? I don't know.... I DO know that because of the treatment I received from peers because of my lack of style that I am VERY involved in my kids getting ready for school....especially the girls. I do Katie, Rachel and Olivia's hair just so... every morning. I make sure everything matches and that they look stylish and cute. Because it wasn't important to my own mother... it is VERY important to me. I never want my chilren to be embarrassed by how they look..... like I was.

My mother was always very busy .... with all my younger brothers and sisters and also with her many projects. I don't remember her really helping me much with homework or even asking me if I did it. As I got older I found myself not doing my homework ... or at least not until a few moments before the bell rang and the assignment was actually due. Even in college I would procrastinate almost every assignment. Because of this it is very important to me (and to John) that our children have good study habits. I don't just make sure they do their homework but that it is done correctly and neatly. NO assigment is done late....ever. My children know that academics are very important.... to both their parents. A little pshycho? Perhaps......

Now on the other side of things I also have funny favorites like my mom too .... specifically because they were her favorites. I like to eat at Long John Silvers.... I don't know ANYONE that likes to eat there but me and my sisters .... because our mom did.

Because my mom passed away 3 1/2 years ago I think maybe I ponder these things more often than other people. I also think I hold tight to her favorite things and make them mine because I miss her so very much. She wasn't perfect..... far from it. But she was my mom. I wanted to be just like her when I grew up ... and in many ways I am but in equally many ways I am opposite .... but still because of her. Whether she meant to or not she helped make me into the woman I am today and I guess as long as I am happy with the person and mother I have become.... she did a good job.

Thanks Mom. I miss you....